Curse
by ChibiRaccoon
Summary: Snippet/drabble of a moment in which Kaito faces something he probably wasn't ready for. Please no flames.


Title: Curse

Author: ChibiRaccoon

Pairing: Aoko/Kaito

Genre: Angst

Description: A snippet of a scenario in which Kaito is faced with something he probably wasn't quite ready for. Just a drabble really to get me back into writing fanfiction.

Disclaimer: Do authors usually write fanfiction of their own series? I don't think so. So obviously I don't own it.

_Curse_

"A-Aoko..."

Her eyes were wide and her teeth were worrying her lower lip. He could see her shaking and knew that what she had just done had cost her all the courage she had. There was something in her expression, a fear, and dare he say it, a glimmer of hope? The young man turned away for her, his mind in a whirl. So few words. So much to take in. He knew that she was waiting for him to respond...

Yet he hadn't expected this...

In all his imaginings, it had been him who had given in. He was the one who should have put himself out in the open, baring his soul. He could stand in front of an entire police task force set on dog-piling him, could face down the esteemed high school detective Kudo Shinichi, and even go toe-to-toe with the most ruthless killers, and this young woman who he had known his entire life had come to show more bravery than him himself.

There she was, five foot-nothing really. Dressed prettily in a lilac summer dress, hair tamed back with hair clips, and subtle traces of makeup that made her already beautiful features shimmer.

Kaito looked back at her.

"K-Kaito?" She was nervous. She looked down a moment before bringing her eyes back up to meet his. "Say something you jerk."

A pang. He almost laughed out loud. She was incredible. How could he possibly do what he was about to do? Would he give in? Or would he do what he knew he had to do to keep her alive. Maybe not happy. But alive. Could he do it? Could Kaito hurt the heart of the one person who he had always prayed would never give up on him.

Could he do it?

Did he want to do it?

The answer was simple. Easy? No. But simple? Yes. Yes it was.

He opened his mouth to say something, but promptly shut it. He couldn't do it. Not while holding her gaze. That innocent, inquisitive, frustrated, and slightly hopeful gaze. His stomach dropped and he returned his gaze to the moon, hating every part of himself more than he'd ever hated anything.

"I'm sorry Aoko." His voice cracked. He cleared his throat, forcing the words out. "But I..." Oh god, Why? "I just don't feel that way for you right now."

He heard her gasp and he thought maybe it was the sound his own heart was making. He didn't have to look at her to know that there were tears forming. He knew her.

In his cowardice, he couldn't even look at her.

"Ah... I...see..." His face nearly crumpled at how utterly small her voice had become. So much courage... and he had just crushed it all in the span of a minute.

"I-I'm sorry." She choked out before the sound of footsteps told him she had fled. Poker face didn't falter. Not even when he heard the slam of the front door. It remained, a permanent fixture of his features as he slowly eyed the spot where she had just made the most amazing declaration anyone had ever given him.

Poker face was there when he suddenly moved, out his room and to his fathers portrait, into the room hidden behind, and to the table where the monocle rested, glinting up at him eerily.

Kaito eyed the glass with unfathomable eyes. Ever since the beginning, he knew there would come a day where he would have to hurt her. His best friend. In his mind, back then, it had been a miniscule price to pay. Find his fathers killers? The only price a sting to a young woman who was known to forgive him even at his worst? He hadn't thought much of it back then. Aoko had always been Aoko. So he'd fooled himself into thinking that no matter what he did, no matter _who_ he became... In the end, Aoko would forgive him. She may not return the feelings that he'd come to secretly harbor for her, but she would forgive him.

Never, NEVER, in any of his naïve dreams did he believe that she herself would be the one to confront _him_ about the blossoming feelings she had come to feel for him. A part of him rejoiced. To know that she felt the _same_ way as him! It had seemed like such an impossibility!

The other part of him had screamed in despair. So happy he had been to know that she had come to love him as much as he loved her. It was because of that, that Kaito had been forced to turn his back on her. He loved her too much to risk her life. He wasn't done with his mission. Even if the price paid now seemed so terribly unfair. Was it even worth it anymore?

He had thought it would have just been a harmless bit of played off insensitivity. He hadn't imagined that the price for his revenge would be her heart.

So it was in that secret room, behind that portrait, and in the presence of the monocle that Kuroba Kaito, alias to Kaitou Kid, said to hell with Poker Face and slammed a fist on the symbol of his father's legacy.

Because no matter what he did from then on; capturing the people who killed his father, destroying the gem that had cost so many lives, and finally hanging up the white-caped mantle, none of it would matter from then on.

Because nothing would keep the lie that he had just given from cursing him forever.

-Owari-

_...This had a point. I know it did. But what it is has been lost to me. I haven't written for Detective Conan in FOREVER. I've missed it! I know the writing sucks. I did it on my lunch at work quickly just to see if I had it in me. Apparently so but I do have one issue: Why can't I write anything good for Kaito and Aoko?! It's always depressing! WHY!? Meh. I had pent up angst I had to get out._

_Not too happy with it, but believe me when I say its WAY better than anything I had written for the fandom at the moment. Anywho, hope you all like. Please review, no flames. Constructive criticism is welcome though. _

_...PS: Please keep in mind, I haven't written fanfiction in a LONG time. Apologies if it suxors._


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